Sibling Carer

Brothers on a ferry

I’ve posted in the past about being a parent carer, and the impact it can have on daily life. Sometimes I’ve shared about the tightrope of having children with additional needs whilst at the same time being an SEN professional myself. I’ve also shared posts about being neurodivergent myself, in the midst of those two tensions.

But I’ve rarely drawn attention to sibling carers, mostly because that’s not my Lived Experience.

But, my second son is an incredible sibling carer, sandwiched between two brothers who have additional needs. Add in his own diagnosis of dyslexia to the mix.

Last week one morning, we got up early for a ferry. As we were all getting to leave the house, our 11 year old remembered that he’d forgotten to pack spare socks. We were calling across the house, and I called out to our 9 year old. I was actually going to ask him something else, but as I was saying ‘Can you …’. He called back to say ‘It’s ok, I’m getting his socks’.

And that is a sibling carer: quietly doing little things without being asked. They’re brothers, so they still bicker, and irritate each other, but when he’s needed, he’s there. He’s there to patiently guide him off a scary climbing frame, to interpret when something upsetting happened at school, and to grab forgotten socks.

A shout out to Sibs - for brothers and sisters who exist to support sibling carers, and who have helped us with school admissions.

One perk, though, of having a disabled sibling is being first to get on the ferry so you can get the seats at the front!